- Quickdraw McLaw
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The August issue of Nevada Lawyer has an article called How to Recognize When It’s Time to Get Support. (Pro tip–it’s accompanied by a quiz that you can send with $45 for 1 hour of AAMH CLE credit.) We work in a stressful profession and are still in the middle of a pandemic–add to that whatever other things are going on in your life at the moment: kids, aging parents, dating, marriage, divorce, finances, taxes, health, etc. and you have a recipe for disaster. How are you holding up? Have you reached out for help? What are you doing to cope? Anything you have learned recently worth sharing with the rest of us? Any substances you want to recommend taking or avoiding? Any therapists that have changed your life? Any questions that maybe some of the rest of us can answer for you about mental health in this profession?
2 of the 3 reference links at the end of the article are dead ends.
Where's the quiz?
You can find the quiz in the full issue of the magazine, not the individual article: https://nvbar.org/nvlawyermagazine/august-2021/
The most emotionally healthy (and some of the very best) attorneys I've known over the years are those for whom being an attorney was not the most important thing in their life. A well-rounded balance of spiritual life, family life, recreational life, financial life, and professional life is the key to avoiding the pitfalls. If the job and profession are so paramount that they cause a lawyer to neglect other parts of life, there will be problems.
What I do for a living is not who I am. As the years have passed, being a lawyer has become progressively less important to me. I almost never mention that I am a lawyer. When someone asks what I do for a living, I try and politely redirect the conversation. Paradoxically, I'm now a far better lawyer that I've ever been.
I'm retired now, but was always of the mindset that "lawyering is what I do; not who I am". It served me well and allowed me to view others respectfully rather than condescendingly. It was off putting when I was treated differently (as if I was better, smarter, etc.) after someone learned of my profession. I never thought I was special because of what I did for a living. I sought and seek the "you're special" from my family and friends.
I learned never to mention that I am an attorney on a 4 hours flight to New York because I will be stuck for 4 hours listening to the passenger next to me wail about his/her ugly divorce.
I learned to never talk to other passengers on the plane.
10:29 that is a great comment and exactly correct. I started becoming a better lawyer when it became less important (the career, not the clients) and I started woodworking as a serious hobby (not to push woodworking as it could be any productive hobby or pursuit). For me, once again it could be other things, woodworking gave me – me time – and was quiet and required patience and connected me to more natural pursuits instead of the hustle of court life. Once again, great post.
So woodworking – are you making furniture and stuff? Open to commission for something? I can't find someone to address some specific needs and would love to see your work. We can figure out a way to connect if that's of interest (I get that doing something you love as a hobby changes if you do it for others so …)
10:37 here. 11:19 yes I do and I appreciate the interest but I am in middle of selling my home and moving across Vegas so I wouldn't have time for the next few months. But, if you call The Woodworker's Emporium –> link https://www.woodworkersemporium.com/ they can connect you with woodworkers who might meet your needs. I am sure you know this but 1) always see their work before you hire, 2) there is a huge difference between a good and master worker and it shows (example, the smallest discrepancy in a joint looks magnified when on your dining table haha) so get a skilled worker, 3) most charge by materials and flat fee so if you want to check out the lumber prices you can go to Peterman's Lumber (in SW Vegas) and see the hardwoods yourself (and select what you like). Finally, if you have no luck in a week or so, post here again and I will see if I can help you some way (I check this blog most days). Also, depending on what it is, you might consider grabbing a plane and saw and doing it yourself – it's a great hobby and even if the piece is not perfect you will have great feeling of achievement in having made it. Good luck!
Re woodworking as therapeutic — I immediately thought of Jesse Pinkman's daydreaming during troubled times in Breaking Bad, where he would escape in his mind to doing woodworking. It must be very therapeutic.
Don't forget about Gibbs in NCIS. He is building a boat in his basement. Mark Harmon is really a carpenter.
Wasn't JC's dad a carpenter? Solid calling.
I avoid all media and social media. No joke, my life has gotten infinitely better. Two of my kids are on social media and they are constantly griping. The other one just does sports and he's so happy you'd never know there was trouble in the world. Amen.
What are you doing writing here? Isn't this social media?
'Tis indeed
I hit the floor laughing. Yes, I guess this does count as social media. When the blog sticks to the law and court news, I consider this a professional law blog not a social blog, but it sure does go off the rails. Hey, let's talk about Ivermectin!
Glad you laughed! I realized after I sent it that it seemed kind of mean and it wasn't intended that way, only to be funny. We just can't escape it but I do think it (social media) exagerrates the differences between our insides and other people's outsides in a way that's unhealthy!
10:29 and 12:10 are right on the money. And social media is a hellish cesspool that's only good for gathering evidence against opposing parties in family court.
Thank you for posting this today, I don't know how you knew I needed to hear it, but it came at the right time just as I hit a breakdown.
Anything any of us can do to help?
I second 2:07
If forms would be helpful or referrals or anything, post an anonymous email and people can privately send you stuff.
Hey 1:47 – sending good vibes your way. Just remember you've survived all of your worst days so far and you'll get through what you're doing through.
You are not alone. Is there something that happened which just about drove you over the edge? I had 4 Arbitration Hearings (successful) back to back last week plus depositions plus writing motions. We had a firm lunch and during the lunch a partner said something to me which I considered very insulting. He accused me of doing something I had not done. I almost walked out the front door and I was so mad I could not sleepm
Only tangentially pandemic related but working from home has taught me my law firm cares nothing about me and I am indeed the FBU I tried to convince myself I wasn't. Harsh reality especially because I don't think any other firm will be different. Not sure if my preliminary thoughts make me naive, hopelessly optimistic or plain dumb.
Agreed. My firm has been pushing attorneys and staff back into the office since May 2021. I don't know why, as I am just as (if not more) productive at home versus coming in. My billables were great at home. Plus my stress/burnout levels were tolerable when I didn't have to go into the office. I'm looking at work-from-home opportunities now, which are hard to come by.
I don't understand why any employer cares about remote work after an employee shows productivity. I had higher hopes more jobs would allow WFH, or at least hybrid work, after the shutdowns. But alas, other than Silicon Valley, they haven't.
Working at home alleviates much of the petty bickering and back stabbing that goes on in an office and which takes up far too much time and effort. This week in our office there was a blow up between paralegals, which must have wasted 4 hours of billable.
This worldwide pandemic has turned the world upside down. The world is currently on fire. COVID and all of its variants are only the tip of the iceberg. Afghanistan is currently the crisis however it turns on a dime daily. We as counsel sometimes have giant boulders heisted on our shoulders. We have taken an oath to the courts, the community and our families. Sometimes it is a very heavy burden. It would be nice if all of the state bars out there would recognize these issues and do the right thing.
The State Bar of Nevada, like many other state bars, give lip service to these hard times however it would be refreshing if they took the lead with kindness and understanding and maybe look to doing free and non-judgmental groups, mixers and counseling for gratis. Some firms are really struggling to keep the doors open. If the state bars would really like to help change the world for the better, they could start with a little understanding and generosity. They have been taking monies from all of the bar members and it would be nice, in additional to the stupid monthly magazine that they do something proactive for their paying members without expecting anything in return, except maybe healthier members of the bar that can function better and in turn, serve the community better.
Their compassion and concern truly is lip service.
3:57, yes, agreed, there is far more they can do in terms of being responsive, supportive, provide better programs and services so we get a better bang for our buck, etc.
But there is an undercurrent of your remarks which tend to suggest that if they improve services in those regards, that it is going to greatly improve our practices, and enhance their functioning and profitability.
But the hard truth is that the little things they can do to become more responsive and service-oriented to its members, is going to have zero impact on easing monetary loss many firms have experienced due to the pandemic. There is nothing they can do for these firms in terms of increasing the foot traffic of paying clients.
So, if a firm is really suffering financially, obtaining a more user-friendly State Bar really has no impact on easing that.
But you are right about what they currently provide, as opposed to what they should be providing.There are many other states which could serve as a model, to aspire to, as to what a State Bar should be.
I realized that I'm not alone. The impostor syndrome is real. It may look like everyone else knows what they're doing, but they don't. They all struggle too. All of us struggle to focus on work 8 hours a day 5 days a week, monitoring emails 24/7 and taking vacations only if we can squeeze in enough extra hours to make it happen. Just keep trying to get through. Do your best and realize that everyone else is stuck in this pandemic too-dealing with their own problems.
Agreed. 3:35 here. Furthering my frustrations are those who I work with who "bill" 2500+ hours a year and rewarded for it, while the firm knows it and sanctions their practices. While I understand the imposter syndrome position but in my world it's rewarded. What does one do?
Remember when I predicted that Biden would extend the eviction moratorium, it would be upheld in a lower court and eventually overturned by the USSC? I was right. Voted down 6-3.
You were wrong. The lower court did not uphold the moratorium. And technically speaking the Supreme Court did not invalidate it – they vacated the stay.
Nope. A Trump appointee upheld it. I was only wrong about it being upheld by an Obama appointee. And yes, the Supreme Court invalidated it.
Thanks for sharing such a beneficial information. It could save someone's life.
Is Miranda Du a Trumper?
11:39 AM–Judge Du a Trumper? She was appointed by Dem US Senator Harry Reid. She tends to be more conservative than some of the other newer appointed judges but her ruling on the immigration was incorrect.