Attorney, Lawyer, Or Something Else

  • Law

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  • How do you refer to your position in the legal profession? Do you call yourself an attorney, lawyer, or something else? Do you use different words depending on the audience?
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 7:17 pm

I use 'attorney' because I find 'lawyer' doesn't roll off the tongue as easily.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 7:20 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

I was once told by a law school professor back in the 90's that an attorney is one that holds a license to practice law. A lawyer is one that graduated from law school.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 8:07 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

I learned it a bit differently. An attorney can be anyone (such as an attorney-in-fact under a power of attorney), but only a properly licensed attorney and counselor at law is a lawyer.

MayhewMayhem
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MayhewMayhem
January 12, 2023 7:18 pm

This comment has been removed by the author.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 7:30 pm

Divorce Lawyer of the ShitHouse Family Court, Rightful Heir to At Least Some Decisions, King of Losing Appeals, Protector of the Clerk's Virginity, Father of OC Motions, The Khaleesa of Waiting in hallways and The Breaker of Balls.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 7:43 pm

I usually go with "I'm a liar. Sorry, lawyer."

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 13, 2023 12:19 am
Reply to  Anonymous

I have a great sense of humor, but this attorney-liar thing truly get my knickers in a knot. Most attorneys I know are truth tellers of the highest order. That even includes some prosecutors. Wait, never mind. Strike that.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 7:43 pm

Any significance if a matter where a hearing is requested is set on a chambers calendar?

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 8:03 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

Other than the judge deciding that the matter doesn't need a hearing? Probably not.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 10:38 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

@11:43 – Possibly that the judge is waiting to see if opposing counsel/opposing party files an Opposition or not. If an opposition is filed they may move to a new hearing date/time on the motion calendar.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 13, 2023 5:03 am
Reply to  Anonymous

Judges have standing preferences on which motions go to chambers calendar in their department (think minor’s comps, motion to exceed page limit, etc.). The clerk’s office follows the judge’s preference, not the party’s request for hearing.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 8:03 pm

Some odd ones I've seen: "legal stylist" or "law talker."

I use "professional pessimist."

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 8:25 pm

Fungible Billing Unit

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 9:02 pm

The official title that I use is "someone who made poor life decisions". This job is a total scam and an assault on my human dignity.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 13, 2023 1:40 am
Reply to  Anonymous

Same

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 9:18 pm

There is nothing more cringy than an attorney referring to himself/herself as "Attorney [Last Name]" To me it indicates that you either (a) went to a toilet law school; (b) had toilet grades; and/or (c) practice toilet law. Also cringy are attorneys that insist on the "Esq." No one cares.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 9:45 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

Nobody GAF if you cringe.

I will absolutely announce myself as Attorney "first name / last name". on a conference call, etc. Also, Esq. is a thing, get over it.

On the flip side, if any of you remember Ron von Felden, he used to chastise anyone that addressed him in a letter as Esq. Something to the effect of "Esq. refers to an English Gentleman and I am no such thing."

He was a tool and he is not missed.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 10:30 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

1:18 you crazy AF, what are you supposed to do, let others wonder if you are the paralegal, reporter, assistant, litigant, etc. – nooooo I'm "Attorney XXXXX"

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous
January 12, 2023 10:56 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

Yeah like 1:18 said, I think sometimes you have to introduce yourself as "Attorney Last Name" so there's no confusion as to whether you're an attorney or not.

Unfortunately, seems like my younger/female colleagues run into that problem (people thinking you're not an attorney) more than others.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 13, 2023 12:21 am
Reply to  Anonymous

@1:45pm, 1:18 p.m. here again. I bet you dollars to donuts that you are a solo and practice toilet law.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 13, 2023 3:52 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

I am a 20+ year solo and still don't GAF. And you will always be a schlub working for Biglaw. So enjoy your billable requirements and office politics.

I take the cases that I want and pass on the ones that I don't. I work when I want and as much as I want.

Pardon me while I pack for Cancun……again.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 13, 2023 4:13 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

Mike Wall also hated Esq., "I am not one of the landed gentry!"

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 10:23 pm

I prefer barrister or counselor at law

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 10:41 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

I dealt with counsel once that referred to him/herself, on every call, as "counselor at law." It made me laugh. So pretentious, especially when speaking to another attorney.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 11:00 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

I only seek injunctions so I call myself attorney-at-equity.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 11:20 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

@3:00, see @2:40's comment

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 13, 2023 12:16 am
Reply to  Anonymous

I regularly counsel clients and am a lawyer, so refer to me as counselor at law, or counselor, or simply Daddy.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 12, 2023 10:40 pm

I once heard it said that there are no funny lawyers, just funny people that made the wrong career choice.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 13, 2023 12:33 am

I use "consigliere"

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 13, 2023 2:57 am

Off topic, got the Nevada Lawyer today. Andras Babero hit got for a 3 year suspension (down from a 4 year recommended by the SBN) for abandoning clients and allowing a 10 million judgment against his clients and a dismissal of another client.

Dave Sanders failed to appear for a court annexed arbitration or file a trial de novo but he got hit for a 4 year suspension by the panel that got reduced to a 1 year suspension.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 13, 2023 10:20 am
Reply to  Anonymous

What people go down for is often not the only thing going on. Keep that in mind.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 13, 2023 5:10 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

I miss Laurel and will never be sure what role Andras played.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 13, 2023 5:08 pm

God bless America. The Biden Corvette memes have lifted my spirits. Now that Twitter is a free speech safe space again, my feed is on fire, unlike when they suppressed all the Hunter memes. First Amendment rules!

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous
January 13, 2023 7:00 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

Twitter's new "free speech" policies are fantastic. Since Elon bought that outfit and began destroying his personal brand, Tesla prices have dropped about 20 percent. If Elon stays the course, perhaps he will end up doing inadvertently what Henry Ford did overtly with the Model T: i.e., bring the masses a new means of transportation at an affordable price.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 13, 2023 7:18 pm
Reply to  Anonymous

It all works for me. Twitter is a blast now and hasnt been for years.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
January 15, 2023 3:10 am
Reply to  Anonymous

Twitter shut down access by third-party apps with zero warning. The native app has always been horrible. Shit's on fire, yo.