- Quickdraw McLaw
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In the comments the other day, a few of you mentioned that you like to surreptitiously insert movie quotes or song lyrics into your legal documents. What other kinds of things do you find yourself doing to keep things fresh? Do you and your colleagues have a running competition? Is there a certain phrase that you include in every brief? Is there a phrase you cannot stand? Do you try to get deponents to say a magic phrase?
Great line to use on opposing counsel being overly helpful to his client during a deposition, from Pulp Fiction: "I don't recall asking you a goddamn thing!" You have to say it just like Jules Winnfield. Gets opposing counsel right in line.
Say what again! I dare you, I double dare you counselor!
While clever, this will likely get you cited in a professionalism CLE somewhere along the line. Such as Joe Jamail. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIxmrvbMeKc
All shapes and sizes Vincent
I love "assuming arguendo" I hate "COMES NOW".
New rule – if you use COMES NOW you also have to wear a powdered wig to match your antiquated pleading language
I cannot stand assuming arguendo. It's worse than COMES NOW because nobody reads the COMES NOW part. Everyone reads your stupid assuming arguendo line.
Well that's just like your opinion man.
I struggle so much to frame and respond to my opponents' arguments when My Cousin Vinny's "everything that guy just said is bullshit" would be so much more accurate and to the point.
@10:09
Say it! …and send me a copy of the brief.
I double dog dare you.
I will occasionally slip an "in the parlance of our times" into a brief in homage to Jeffrey Lebowski, aka The Dude or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
This is a time I wish there this blog had a like button for comments.
*LIKE
While a law clerk I saw some whoopers…my favorite was a quote involving Humpty Dumpty with a proper citation to Through a Looking Glass, followed closely by a Hamlet quote albeit without proper citation.
Great thread, LawDawg!!
Thanks for the kind words, but i can't take credit for this thread. This was all Quick Draw!
I will let you in on a little secret. Many famous movie quotes are cited in published opinions. If you want to use the quote, cite the published opinion quoting the movie. Boom. Bona fide authority.
Example: "This cornerstone of First Amendment protections has been reaffirmed time and again by the Supreme Court, this Court, Texas courts of appeals, legal treatises, and even popular culture." Kinney v. Barnes, 443 S.W.3d 87, 90-91 (Tex.2014) citing THE BIG LEBOWSKI (PolyGram Filmed Entertainment & Working Title Films 1998) ("For your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint.").
You're welcome.
The parties are advised to chill.
LIKE
My favorite band is Motorhead and a couple times in oral argument in District Court I have used the phrase, in the words of the philosopher Lemmy Kilmister "x, y and z" but nobody smiled or got my reference. Just for fun, are any of you fans?
Who would win in a wrestling match: Lemmy or God?
RIP Lemmy.
While clerking and observing a trial in my department, the flustered witness:
A: SHIT!
Attorney: Objection HEARSAY!
Judge: Sustained
I like the guy but watching Mike Myers sleeping on BlueJeans in Department 19 this afternoon has been a treat
Brad Bellisario, a Boyd 2014 grad, making the school proud.
https://www.reviewjournal.com/investigations/personal-injury-attorney-accused-of-stalking-stealing-threats-he-faces-disbarment-2515803/
Boyd 2015 in the house!
Anyone have the inside scoop on why Brad nuked his life?
Honestly it sounds like he has an undiagnosed mental illness and needs help. Of course, copious amounts of alcohol doesn't help the situation.
I agree; too bad he didn't get it before a bunch of clients were nuked as well.
SBN persecuting yet another solo while propping up Biglaw. SO sick of this crap.
Is Biglaw known for vanishing $260k in client funds? I agree that SBN tends to focus on easy discipline, and solos who couldn't afford Bill Terry (or his successor) are pretty easy fruit. But on the other hand, client funds are fucking offlimits.
Years ago I worked for a height-challenged lawyer who ordered me to write correspondence to plaintiffs' attorneys so that the left margin would line up in order to send a "hidden message" as shown below. Hours were spent attempting to scour up the creativity.
For
unless you
can
kiss
your
own
uranus
You get the idea. Right?
Sounds like a Doug Crawford move.
Assuming that mean who I think you mean,
somebody is going to be disappointed if you
know what I mean.
There is one local attorney who loves to use "height of hubris," "egregious," start sentences with "And" or "But," and regularly uses the phrase "chicken little cries."
His briefs read like a high school kid trying to sound smart. He is not a dumb attorney but his writing is awful.
And it seems you have not watched Finding Forrester.
And what's the risk?
I know who I think you are talking about. I find his writing entertaining and refreshingly fun to read if it is who I am thinking. I have quite a few cases with the attorney and know that he did not cut and paste his motions because they cleverly crafted to each case. I guess to each their own.
One opposing counsel once used a phrase in a brief that was something like, Defendant is like the child who killed his parents so he could go to the orphan's picnic.
A high school newspaper gossip column has more credibility than NPR. The story has been denounced as false by two justices of the USSC. We live in pathetic times. I'm starting to think Fox News is the most credible news organization that currently exists.
Look at 5:20 trying to start a food fight that will get the whole string of comments deleted.
See you next Tuesday.
That's a pop culture reference, right? Totally on theme for today's topic and perhaps even responsive to 5:20, yes?
Looking for recommendations for a registered agent in NV – anyone you guys like who is good to work with?
Pretty much any firm that does corporate structuring will also serve as a registered agent for the entities that they organize. My firm does it as a loss leader and service for our corporate clients.